Ahoy mateys! While a true pirate never takes a break from raidin’ and wenchin’ some scallywags have a downtime this part of the year they call the holidays! And they give each other gifts. Arrgh! As long as the gifts be plundered yer Cap’n has designs on a few baubles for the no good bilge rats on yer bootly list this holiday.
1) Ye can’t be a member of the crew if ya ain’t secured yer copy of Pirate Haiku: Bilge Sucking Poems Of Booty Grog And Wenches For Scurvy Sea Dogs. Ye needs it in yer ships library right away, so no lollygaggin.’
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2) You’ll want to be lookin’ stylish while yer plunderin’ in the New Year. And for that ye need the Got Rum? T-shirt. It be available in two dozen colors and sizes up to 5XL. What ye be waiting for?
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3) Fer the wee buccaneer on your list, you’ll want ‘em readin’ Pirates full of great drawin’s and snappy poems yer wee one will love it…
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4) I got no use for the so-called Dread Pirate Roberts. A fancy, pretty boy if you ask me. Almost worse than Sparrow. But the man does now his swords and you’ll be slicin’ through Florin pirates or Union Jackies like a hot knife through butter with this baby.
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5) Speaking of Sparrow. He better hope I never catch him as he still owes me a fair ‘mount of doubloons. But I gotta say he knows how to spin a yarn and ye can get all four of his lies in one treasure chest. Now that’s a deal any pirate worth his salt would make.
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6) I’m tellin’ ya if you’re planning on buyin’ yer we youngin’ a Playmobil Pirate Ship, you might best buy one for the grown up as well. It’s just too much fun.
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7) If the wee buccaneers start to drive ye crazy during the holidays before they get back to school. Get ‘em busy on the Pirates Activity book. Lot’s of fun for the whole crew.
